Match is at it again, dredging the depths of their vast testosterone inventory to find only the most suitable suitors for me.
Here are a couple of gems.
Meet chu1010
Of all the unfortunate (and rather appropriate) places to prematurely end a sentence, this man has it nailed. Don’t worry, Meet chu1010, I am less likely to want to shoot you and more likely to want to shoot myself in wherever it is that stores my short-term memories and processes visual images.
Thanks, Match.
Winona341
Of all the shitty matches Match has deemed fit for me, this one may take the cake. This one says, “There is no actual process. This is all just as random as real world you get to live in for free – complete with advertising in all corners.”
Good news: This scam and I are a good match because “he” is “athletic and toned”.
chu1010 looks like he photoshopped his head onto someone else’s equally-unspectacular body for reasons unknown to even him. On the other hand, he seems interested in “no answer,” which I’m sure many women will be able to oblige him with.
winona341 has been busy. Busy shoplifting! LOL omg that joke is soooo old. older than winona. Don’t undersell winona341, though (or die trying! have you seen these theoretical prices?!?). He/she will be able to get all up in this bitch/stud and make it /Rain, if the list of products (including the mysterious “club sublimation jerseys”) is to be believed. Counterfeit goods and shoddy 8-year-old craftsmen mean w341 can bring the savings to you: direct! and possibly with “some” extra grocers’ quotes.
I have now read your entire blog (so far), and I must say one question comes to mind: have you tried OKcupid? At least it’s free, and I’ve had pretty good luck with it so far.
I have not tried OkCupid.
Truthfully, it’s not ALL this bad. It’s just not at as entertaining to document the good stuff that comes out of Match. Someday, maybe…