Hot Mess: Volume 9

Truism: A picture is worth a thousand words.

The end.

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5 thoughts on “Hot Mess: Volume 9

  1. A face sporting that particular combination of tribal tatts and facial hair makes a statement. Well, several statements actually:

    – I lost a bet.
    – Thank god my unemployment checks have been extended past 99 weeks.
    – It was either the tribal marks or “This End Up.”
    – Yeah, I live a life with no regrets.
    – I’m single.
    – Has anyone seen my caretaker?
    – By “social drinking,” I mean “getting completely wrecked and making irreversible decisions.”
    – If you think that’s pretty messed up, you should see my penis.
    – The Magic game starts at 9 pm.
    – While I haven’t actually created any art, I consider myself an artist.
    – I’ve decided to honor my 1/28 ancestors with this display of something something.
    – I had to get something to cover up those hand-drawn Sharpie penises I received the last time I was socially drunk. I had a job interview that afternoon!
    – I touch myself a lot when no one’s looking. And sometimes when they are.
    – Have I shown you my penis yet?
    – Man, I thought I was never going to get a job and then BAM, that bus driver thing opened up.
    – I’ve got to check in with my probation officer.
    – I can go from 0-arrested for indecent exposure in 3 social drinks.
    – Hell no, I don’t smoke! My body is a temple!
    – Hindsight being 20/20, I maybe should’ve hired a different temple decorator.
    – Sorry, I’m not allowed to use anything sharp. Let me find a crayon and I’ll give you my number.
    – And then I thought, “Maybe it’s TOO symmetrical.”
    – Oh, that’s right. I had to move the Magic game to 9:30. I meant to email you but my computer is being held as evidence.
    – I’m thinking of starting a life of crime. I’ll probably start small, you know, like indecent exposure and stuff before tackling my first heist.
    – Yeah, I try to stick it to “the man” on a regular basis. Unless Airbender is on or something.
    – RRRAAWWWWRRR!!!

  2. *blinks* Native American? Really?

    Is this a trend in the South? Practically everyone I knew when I was living in Atlanta was that those with some sort of bent toward spirituality all seemed to have claimed some sort of Native American heritage. In spite of the fact that they were as blond haired and blue eyed and last names were in fact Irish or Scottish.

    Oh and you should have kept going… The clincher for this potential delusion is “role playing”. Even think I can read DM (Dungeon Master) in the half-line left. Caught that toward the part where you cut it of. Explains the ink tattoos and claiming Native American perhaps.

    Best of luck chuckling this one off. Me, I’m off to facepalm myself unconscious.

    • Ah, yes. I may have been hasty. I wasn’t even sure where to start with this here beaut.
      Therefore, I guess this is a make-your-own-joke blog entry.

      I don’t want to stereotype about Natives…but that kind of sets off my bullshit detector as well. He’s probably like 1/28th Native.

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