One of us thought it was hilarious. Sorry it wasn’t you.

Initial contact summary: Hey, we should meet. Yes, we should. Silence, extended for a month or so.

Ditto for second contact summary including silence, extended.

Third contact (unabridged)
Observe the dates.

Prior to sending this message, I thought that either this dude will find this hi-larious or he’ll be pissed. Either way, I shall have some sort of conclusive decision.

At this point, my dear friend “J” un-friended me on the book-o’-face and subsequently blocked me. In the grand scheme of my internet dating and relationships, I’m going to credit that as a successful closure.

140 thoughts on “One of us thought it was hilarious. Sorry it wasn’t you.

  1. Hahaha! I love the “You scare me” choice….. guess that was it after all since he blocked ya!
    He clearly can’t take a joke and to me (with my sarcastic humor) that is a turn off…..he wouldn’t of been a good fit anyway…just a HUGE BORE! Zzzzzzzzz Ugh!

  2. I’ve often thought about handing out comment cards after dates, but your second response makes me think I should be sending out that questionaire beforehand!

    • I support the comment card idea. You could incorporate the checklist for greater efficiency.

      I’m thinking a range from:
      ___ I had a great time and would like to see you again.

      ___ Are you aware that you smell like booze?

      maybe a few thrown in between like:
      ___ I’m glad that you think you’re funny.
      ___ I would have had more fun tonight if I were alone.

  3. I do not find this hilarious, I find it pathetic, at least his behavior, and it goes on all the time. Your multiple choice quiz was very witty and clever, and if he had any intelligence and wit himself, he’d have responded to it. Fugetabouthim. I don’t know why you and everyone thinks it’s funny. Maybe it’s an age thing — I am over 60 and have many such experiences like yours.

  4. I thought it was funny on first reading but for the life of me, I just can’t see anything hilarious about it. It seems to me that while Viscosity was witty, funny and quick to grab an opportunity to meet a guy, this rejection really dug deep and she just can’t let it go. To be honest… I think this guy probably did the right thing not meeting her… I think you, dear Viscosity, have some psychological issues you should sort out for yourself. Your picture shows what must obviously be a lovely girl so don’t waste your time trying to pick up a guy over the internet and take time off from your PC and get yourself a real life (if you are old enough, which I doubt, I think you are probably a minor/teenager out for a laugh)

    • Oh gimme a break with this pop psychobabble! She did not do anything wrong, he did. He is obviously phobic about meeting in real time, much as his subconscious, which comes out to play when he’s online, would like to. Many people like that in this world of ours. Stop laying a guilt trip on the woman.

    • Wow, catalyst, you already know so much about me. It’s like you’ve looked deep into my psyche to uncover the deep emotional scars left by so much rejection. It certainly IS going to take some time to heal. I thought no one would ever understand.

      I think maybe we’re soulmates. We should meet up for a drink. What’d’ya say?
      You’ll have to buy the liquor though.

      Maybe over drinks you can tell me more about this “real life” you speak of.

      • I can take it from here.
        Your extended silence baffles us.
        Please check all that apply:

        ___Yes I would like meet up with Hannah.

        ___I would like to meet with her under the condition that she buys the liquor.

        ___I would only like to meet with her to discuss her rejection problem.

        ___I secretly idolize Dr. Phil.

        ___I regret posting that comment.

        ___I’m the one with the rejection problem.

        ___No I would not like the meet with her and instead will now go play with myself.

  5. still cracking up. do you think it’s any easier being over 60 and recently lost 50 lbs and being a size 4??? you’d think i could find a REAL man? if it were not so damn funny i’d be depressed. trust me – it’s like if i were a dog chasing cars and finally caught one – WHAT WOULD I DO WITH IT?? can anyone relate?

  6. Full ownage right there.

    If I were the man though, I’d totally try and meet you, even if you were in a different country than me.

    Not to mention that I’m only 15 and stuff. Gah.


  7. Hahaha! This is great!

    I love how nowadays (in this era when technology can help you out if you are lacking in the ball department) its okay to ask people on a date over Facebook, and then “un-friend” and block them, if you chicken out.

    Thanks for sharing! πŸ˜€

  8. Oh brilliant, there is nothing as good as enforcing a creepy “please check all that apply” list to get your point across. LOOOVVEEE MEEEEEE! Heh, lollasurus rex.

  9. whaha funny!!! Some people can’t take a joke, it’s good to know that right away! Don’t understand why he didn’t apriciate it though, you were even considerate enough to ask how the job fair went for him!

  10. Long story short, I ran into a guy that I’d had more than a casual flirtation with a year earlier. He asked me why we’d never gone out. My reply? Because you never called me. He was speechless. I turned around and continued my conversation with my friend. His name was Jim. I wonder if he’s your “J.” We were in the Great Lakes.

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  13. makes you wonder about girl humor and boy humor – any intersection ever? Not too sure! Perhaps some humor can’t get through the ego armour that men/boys sometmimes wear!

  14. What an idiot. The guy, not you. Obviously. He must be lacking in the humor department, ’cause this was funny. πŸ™‚

  15. Personally, I think this is hilarious. J is lame.

    This post feels like me. I don’t do it romantically speaking, but I always end up cracking jokes or sending messages that only I find funny. I’ve had a ton of friend/relationship issues lately for that very reason. I end up re-reading my messages or going over what I said and being like, “I don’t get it. I’m hilarious!” Eh. It’s just something that I’ll have to keep working on.

    As far as your situation goes, seriously, don’t worry about it. This guy doesn’t have what it takes to be with a gal like you obviously.

  16. Are you really serious? J. REALLY didn’t want to be friends with you?
    Not even wanted to meet you??
    What’s wrong with guys today? They fall for your alter ego and leave your own ego thinking about them and then, out of nowhere (how appropriate) go back to where they came from?
    Strange world.

  17. Obviously, he realizes he is no match for your quick wit and confidence. Great for you for calling him out on his lack of follow-through. He is either unorganized and aloof, dating so many females that he can’t keep track of who he is trying to “chat up,” or is just a poor pitiful guy who lacks the ability to focus on figuring out how to get the girl he wants. Any of these reasons are enough for him to just give it up till he can mature enough to handle an adult relationship. Sounds like he missed out on being with a smart and funny girl.

  18. *I* thought it was hilarious, even if he didn’t! Seriously, a message like that would have amused me and I would have responded with a ‘tick’ at least if nothing else.

    You done good.

    • Dood, “Girlz like you?” J blocked her and unfriended her on FB because she REPLIED.

      Go find a sense of humor and get over yourself being “horrified” and/or “mortified”.

      What’s horrifying is the way some adults can’t just behave in a reasonably adult fashion.

  19. This guy sounds like a doucher.

    Anyway, your sign off reminds be off the scene in What About Bob, when Dr. Leo Marvin wants Bob and Ziggy to give him some “peace and quiet.”

    “I’ll be quiet.”

    “I’ll be peace.”


  20. Some guys are just plain weird. I had a similar experience, only not over the internet! I met a guy at a party, and after being grilled by him for 30 min I pointed out that he appeared to not like me. He seemed quite surprised, and informed me that the opposite was true. He then asked for my number, I gave it to him, and coincidentally left a few mintues later with my ride.

    I get a call the next day saying he’d like to get together, but he’ll be out of town for 2 weeks. I reply that I’ll be waiting for him to call.

    Something like 3 weeks go by, and I call and leave him a message asking if we’re going to get together. He leaves a message back, saying yet again that he’d like to see me, but in about 2 more weeks.

    This happens a few more times, until I stop hearing from him. A few months go by, and then I get an early-morning voice message (most likely drunk-dialing) saying he’d really like to get together sometime. I call him back, and leave a message telling him to either 1) follow through on us getting together, which I would still be open to doing, or 2) quit calling me if he really isn’t interested. I never heard from him again. I guess it’s a good thing he couldn’t block me in person! *laugh*

    • archiegrrl, I moved in with a High Ranking Military guy. He was devorced with two kids in Arizona. El Paso, Texas is my home town. Anyway I later found out that he liked going to the Gay Porno Shops and pick up men while I was traveling for the bank. When he was traveling for the military he had his own travel agent who placed him at a hotel near a Gay Porno Shop. Little did he know that I know alot of people and yes I found out what he was doing. After a couple of years he wanted to go his way. I was so upset that when he sold his furniture , he sold mine as well……..WHAT! I come to realize that after dateing 4 Puerto Ricans , they were all the same; and all military. I spoke to his mother and she is a Phycologist (I hope I spelled that right). Well she told me that he was not right on the head.

      After some investigation, because I do investigate people, I found out that everywhere he went to; or was stationed at that he did the same thing to all of his boyfriends. ALL OF YOU …..BECAREFULL WITH THIS GUY….HE IS HARMFULL. His name is David Salgado and he is a nurse practitioner.

      After my mother died in 1990 I moved in with this friend of mine JoAnn. There was very handsome. You know those guys that are tall, dark and handsome. But there was something about him that just did not click. We were intimate. One day that he was traveling away I got his license plate number. He was my first boyfriend. Well I have connections with someone in the bonding area and asked him to run the license plates and get back to me.

      Sure enough, before the day was over my friend called me and said I need to see you when you get off from work. At the time I was a Banking Offficer. Well to make a long story short I was asked to have a sit.

      A folder was opened and I not only found out that he was distributing cocain from Mexico to El Paso ; but that he was a son of a Congressman from California and was HIV.

      After that my world went down. So I went from riches to receiving Social Security Disability Income; Housing Authority is helping me..

      By this time I had lost my mother , my family dis-owned me, lost my house, my friends from the bank and the church and noone seems to call me. The only time they call is when they need my Notary Services at no charge. I am also struggling with my credit cards. i am under Chpt 7. I did not have enough enough 401K to close all of my accounts. I pray as much as I can and just stay home. These last two months I have only eaten crackers and rice because I went from earning over 25,000.00+ yearly (and that is alot in El Paso-for the education I have) to earning 14,000.00 a year.

      But I don’t give up. Sorry for taking alot of your time.

  21. HAHAHA I like it. A horror story/morality tale for the online dating crowd. I love bad date stories. I have one…only this was in person.
    I met a guy at a chamber of commerce mixer. He seemed interesting! interested…!
    I met him for a coffee date…YES! Good vibes all the way. Ok so…Learn from ME and DON’T DO THIS: I knew where he worked, so I sent a friend in the florist business over with a box that APPEARED to hold long-stem roses but which had–a rubber chicken.
    I thought it was hilarious! Plus it gave a great insight into the whats and whys of ME…
    I never heard from him again. I think he left town or possibly the state.
    Oh well, I guess not everyone has a sense of humor. I STILL think it was hella funny.

  22. One day soon, Mr. Hey Hannah will be able to log into the new Facebook and a ‘choice feed’ will tell him what to do with his day. H won’t have to push a button or type in some kind of query — he will simply load up and there, in bold type, his choice feed will tell him what choices to make for the next 24 hours. Wear these clothes; take this route to work; don’t say Hi to Richard, (he’s a dick); buy your boss a birthday present — hit on this girl – and so on. He won’t hesitate in following Facebook’s choices because they’ll feel completely right.

  23. Extremely funny. You have a similar dark,twisted, and freakish sense of humor as I do. However, after two really horrible marriages, my humor doesnΒ΄t extend into the abyss of opposite-gender-relationships. I tend to think most women need to be feared…(however, I do have an awesome relationship with my mom and sisters). Cheers!

  24. Your blog is hilarious! I like your style πŸ™‚ I’ll definitely be reading your posts. Congrats on being freshly pressed.

  25. Hahahaha! That is unbelievably funny and if he blocked you instead of asking you out for drinks, he’s totally not worth your time! This is a great test to see what type of guy you’re dealing with. Stumps don’t deserve your uncanny wit! ❀

    Good luck out there! πŸ˜‰

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  27. Oh my lord, how many times could I have used that checklist when I was dating? I think you have a possible business venture there–serving as mediator to people trying to hook up. You could do all the scout work for them, including handing out that handy checklist to potential suitors/suitors that have fallen by the wayside, and vet all the people who “just aren’t that interested” in your clients. I can think of many a person who would pay good, good money for that kind of service.

    Loved the post. I’ll be following you from here on out. πŸ™‚


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  29. Better off. He was probably a creep without a sense of humor anyway. Probably enjoyed reading disparagingly depressing poetry at open mike nights at coffee houses. Things happen for a reason. I loved the poll!

  30. That is a great way to weed out the ones who are easily intimidated.
    I love directness. I think it makes life so much simpler! If I was a single man instead of a married woman, I’m sure I’d have my heart set on you!

  31. Ha! This is the best thing I’ve read all day!

    Incidentally, I would totally hang out with you – except the fact that you are apparently able to get to Wisconsin with relative ease suggests you and I probably don’t live anywhere near each other.

  32. LOL!! Awesome! I am reminded of this one time when I approached this pretty lady alone at a bar. I gave her my most alluring pick-up line, “Hi, my name is Craig.” She took one good look at me and asked, “Could you please leave me alone? You look crazy to me.” All I could do was laugh and finally say, “Effective… you didn’t need to go that far, but effective.” and walked away.

    Have a nice day C:)

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  34. Haha, possibility of not logging on for a month+?
    But if there’s any kind of wager going on here, I’m going to have to go with the unresolved mother issues option..

  35. Hi,

    As someone who not only appreciated the humor of your contact, but also had a very similar kind of interaction with a guy – checkoff list included – just wanted to chime in.

    He obviously did not have the man-stuff required to be with someone who has such a self-confident and awesome sense of humor.

    In my case, the guy laughed heartily at the checkoff list joke, and then again disappearing into baffling silence, which I decided to conclusively interpret as a great big passive ‘NO’ for my peace of mind.


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    • There comes a time in our life when we realize that some people are utterly bold behind a screen, but scared out of their mind in the real world, and vice-versa.

      If both of you taken this concept to heart, this awkward situation might never had happened. Or maybe it would have, given that you are a very bold character.

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