Hot Mess: Volume 6

I’m going to start with a grand ol’ “What the fuck?” on this here beauty, starting with this dapper fellow’s facial hair stylings.

I’m pretty sure that this is the portion of my profile to which this  fine gentleman is responding. You see, I have a strong aversion to the utterly pointless and creepy cyber winking that Match advertises as flirty and as “communication”.

I’m not exactly sure what he’s implying by, “if that’s the kind of students you have, you prolly met someone like me b4.” Kids whose “hienies” get molested by old ladies with lots of rings? Students who are old ladies? I’m at a loss.

“Rick T. THE GREAT. est technician that ever lived. lol.” is “too smart for anyone to figure out.”
Go figure. He got me figured out right quick. I’m oil. I am also a woman, so it’s best to find out what’s for dinner.

I’d also be willing to wager that the cigarettes in his pocket are Winners…that or Marlboro lights. Ick to the tenth power.

Consolation prize: I have “nice grammar”.

7 thoughts on “Hot Mess: Volume 6

  1. Cyberwinks are absolutely hilarious. The thought of this facial-haired man winking at you in person is enough to make my skin crawl. He’d be the guy lurking in the beer aisle of the grocery store, asking young girls where the parties are at.

    • Luckily, I have not reached the level of desperation necessary to have a date with dear “Rick T. THE GREAT. est technician that ever lived.”

      Truth is, that I was afraid I’d end up barefoot and pregnant by just being in the same room. Also, I was afraid I would want to punch him in the face.
      And, no, the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

  2. He’s lying, probably about several things, but the one that stands out is the “women 21-50.” No man, especially one on a dating site who describes himself as “refusing to grow up,” is looking for a woman on the north side of 45. Unless the man himself is approaching 80.

    He’s looking for an upgrade from whomever last tended to his fresh “heinie” wounds. (Broken imported beer bottles?)

    Referring to “everyone” as “stupid” is probably limiting your friend options, dodasi, which he freely acknowledges with “have only a few friends” before running headlong into an ellipsis three words later.

    You’ve got to get this guy and his powerful Fu Manchu to mate with the last guy and his overbearing eyebrows. It’d be a facial hairstavaganza!

    • It’s a catch-22 when one says that “humans are stupid,” one may find that he cannot be too picky.
      If some 47 year old decides that he is not (too) irritating and can tolerate his facial hair, who is dodasi to turn her down?

      As for your last idea, CLT, I will have nightmares envisioning the offspring of the two. But worse, imagine a meld of those two plus the Sloth look-alike. If that doesn’t haunt your dreams, I don’t know what will.

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