Hot Mess: Volume 3

 

 

One of my favorite things to come across in an online profile is the listing of some variance of “going out” and “staying in” among the things that one enjoys. While I’m sure most intend this to express versatility, I always get caught up trying to think of any other options.

Here’s my list so far:
1) Getting caught up in a horrible bout of indecision on the threshhold of one’s home.
And, well, that’s all I’ve really come up with.

You know the profile is off to a strong start when the first sentence doesn’t really mean anything.

Oops, did I say sentence? That’s not accurate because there is neither capitalization nor punctuation that might suggest a sentence began or ended.
Come on, kids. In the online dating world your writing and the few random pictures you put up is all you have to represent yourself. So put in at least the kind of effort you would have put into doing your first grade homework. A few poorly placed punctuation marks is better than none at all. In fact, if you pull it off right, it will make you look downright creative.

Unfortunately for me, I had to come to the conclusion that this fine specimen of manhood was not the right match for me as he appears to be looking for a woman with Dissociative Identity Disorder as he wants to “make them smile everday”.

Shucks. Maybe next time.